Do you question God?
It’s been 9 years since I was baptized. In nine years, of course I have gone through a lot. I’ve grown more and more in my spirituality but also in my exposure to the world. I had always put my faith and life in God, yet not always holy and righteous in what I did. I know though, that I am not a hypocrite. I will always commit sin one way or another, once a day or once a week or even uncountable; obviously unintentionally. Yes…I’m a choir member…yes I’m a youth group leader who should be responsible and be a role model; but if I’m already perfect and spotless… I will already be in heaven. Yet, being a Christian does not mean being a super human who never swear, smoke, hurt others etc….. being a Christian means we are willing and trying to change those habits….with God’s help. I may not be a perfect Christian role model, but if only you knew me from 9 years ago…you would have said that God must have worked really hard to transform that Sandra to this Sandra. So yes, we are all being processed and that’s something that people who judge us should understand.
Throughout my education, when my brain seems to be expanding like sponge absorbing water… my analytical brain raised some un orthodox questions. Questions which I have surprisingly asked my dad ever since I was a little girl, questions that can’t be answered and perhaps be better off not to be asked. Who created God daddy? And the question became a bit more sophisticated later on after being exposed to physics law, if God is a form of energy and energy can neither be created nor destroyed…then how was God created daddy? Such questions or questions along the same line have been asked by many, sadly… by those to whom God have blessed with intelligence and sharp mind. It’s hard isn’t it? Not to try to analyse things and reason things out when we think we should not be that simple minded.
I may have also raised such wondering, but the different is….I have been touched by God’s love. God took me out from my comfort zone to the point where I just broke down and wept and almost wanting to end my life. But, I will always remember that night….when I was crying out to God in my room and a very bright light shone in… bringing an unexplainably powerful presence to the point where I could not lift up my head. I had always have the faith that God is not just a higher power individual that human made up; and that night made my faith even stronger for I have encountered His presence. Those questions might still be hovering in my mind, yet I won’t ask them no more. Who can answer them CORRECTLY anyway? As to some comments that God created us cause He selfishly wants human to worship Him…. Well, I just can’t help but to worship Him anyway. Christians might not always be the smartest, the richest, the most successful, BUT we will always live by favour. Do you believe that? I have received things that I know I don’t actually deserve, I have accomplished things which with my own intelligence and capability I wouldn’t have accomplished…how can I not worship Him? Hey, I’m happy living such a life… with a God whom I still can’t reason out. Why bother trying and questioning, I won’t let my so called evolved brain bring me to stupidity by choosing not to live in such grace.
If God has blessed all of you with such intelligence, most probably He has great plans for you…. and yes the "bad side" knows the impact that you will bring if only you are on God’s side. No wonder, many great thinker backslided and use their brain and persuasive argumentation to confuse others who don’t have such strong faith to begin with.
There will be a point of time in your life where you are devastated and broken, that you don’t even have the energy to analyse and rationalise God anymore… you will just desperately ask Him to help you. Don’t wait for that moment; don’t test your strength to the limit….
September 24th, 2007 at 5:50 am
I like your blog and I agree with you. I think human being is just too proud to be able to humble themselves. That’s why many of them said that they don’t need God at all. Worst of all, the post-modern teachings have been poisoning human brains to believe that, there isn’t things like heaven and hell. Well, if human were so strong and so clever, why there r countless religions out there? why bother reasoning out this and that. Human is just weak. What if God stop the oxygen? What if the earth stops spinning? God so love the world that He protects all of us, no matter you are believer or not. SO, better open our heart and receive Him. He loves all of us. GBU.